fuckyeahshitbike

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shitbike likes it hard and it’s been a while since i gave her a proper ride, if you know what i mean. so i put my thinking cap on a came up with something to sooth her desire and rub her right through to the bone. fifty miles of dirt, gravel, and climbs sounded about right. shitbike didnt have a clue of the plan, i wanted to surprise her with the awesomeness. we both got pretty and left for our hot date.

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smooth foreplay unraveled on the streets of sausalito. movin’ and groovin’ our way to the mountain. perfect cadence. perfect moment. shitbike squeaking ever so slightly.

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we got lost for a little while after we got to mill valley. there’s construction and i didn’t know how to circumvent the closures while staying the correct course. it’s all good, spending time with shitbike is spending time with shitbike. eventually we find the start of the fire road and head up. it’s like a german sensual massage from the beginning. rocks, gravel and more rocks. shitbike is shaking to the bone, my hands are growing weak around the bars already, it’s going to be a rough ride.

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we power to the top of tam where the  bumps cease and we take a break. shitbike is handling it all so well, not a single screw loose, ready for some more. we have a quick snack break of twizzlers and soon bid a farewell to West Point Inn.

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down down and down. bump and grind, bump and grind. rolling those rocks in the most non-elegant way possible. its rutted for her pleasure. still, im afraid we might have a blowout. we slow it down and take it easy, really soaking in the single track. it’s short lived and we’re on the road down to the next trail head before you know it.

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i love getting on shitbike again. she always reminds me of the most important reasons i ride bikes. here we are sitting on the top of a mountain, all it took was the two of us. one man. one bike. no limitations. the ability to go and the ability to be free are what drive me to saddle up every day. shitbike reminds me that it’s not about the carbon in your frame or the ceramic in your bottom bracket, its about the will inside your heart. to go out and achieve great things not because it’s what you and your bike can do but because it’s what you truly desire to do. she also reminds me of just how important lube is.

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descending on some smooth asphalt is like turning the lights on, shitbike’s flaws become more evident and she gets a little self conscious and mad. best to get back on some dirt quick.

we’re on to the next trail making our way back up the hill when we are joined by a friend. a kid from bear dev has ridden up and prepares to kick our ass. we’re down for a little challenge so we latch on as he passes and stay with him till the top. this was incredibly hard and incredibly stupid. don’t ever try to compete with a 16 year old monster mountain biker. neither of us has hurt that bad in a very long time. but we got to the top quicker than we had planned and had some extra time for some extra radness. more trails? i think yes. taking our only trail option adds on quite a few hills and mileage but we’re committed. to miwok we go.

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the sun is intense and we’re sweating out the last of the water. shitbike is squeaking constantly and sounding a bit dry. down some stairs, down some epic descents on dirt, and then straight back up. the climbs are dreadful but i’ve got to say- i love single speeds. for all their lacking versatility, they make up for it in ease of use and reliability. i wasn’t clicking over my cassette or fumbling on shifters. i sat and cranked, and worried about nothing. i was on the second to last hill when we ran into a suspicious stick. i was told by two old ladies that it was an elusive gopher stick. we carry on and hit the best descent in the area. a smooth fire road that leads into the headlands. its one of those descents you bomb fearlessly until your back tire starts shifting underneath you, and then you go faster.

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we’re on to the very last fire road of the day and in celebration we practice wheelies to our heart’s content. shitbike got a little excited and bucked me off more than i would prefer, but no biggie. celebrations had, we head back home. successful date, both parties fully satisfied.

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